


New (and Really Bizarre) Life

by Jade_Dragoness



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, For Science!, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-04
Updated: 2010-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-15 03:43:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Dragoness/pseuds/Jade_Dragoness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the Enterprise finds a giant turtle is space?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Space is Really Weird

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written as a direct result from a prompt by umashino.

“Huh, well… this isn‘t the first time we‘ve seen a strange thing in space,” said Jim, as he stared at the screen. 

The entire bridge crew remained dumbfounded and quiet. 

Jim turned to look at them. “Remember that big space amoeba we ran into? And that was only a couple weeks ago!” He gave them a reassuring smile.

“Jim, you‘ve lost your mind if you think there‘s anything normal about a giant space turtle with four elephants on its back,” said McCoy flatly, his eyes still fixed on the sight of a big turtle lazily moving through space like it was swimming through a dark star-studded ocean. 

The Enterprise was far enough away that the sight only filled a third of the big screen but as they grew closer the turtle steadily grew bigger and bigger.

“Is that weally an entiwe wowld on the elephants? A flat wowld?” asked Chekov, staring up with wide eyes. 

“Yeah, it certainly looks like it to me,” agreed Sulu, his eyes equally as wide.

Jim turned to glance at Spock, wondering why he wasn’t commenting, only to see his first officer glued to the readouts of the science station with an intensity Jim was only used to seeing when the ship was in danger of being destroyed. 

“I see it with my eyes but I don‘t believe it,” muttered Uhura from her station. 

“Is that really the sun going _around_ the world? The _flat_ world?” asked another crew member, his voice growing hysterical with each word.

Jim frowned at them all. This wasn’t like them at all. His crew didn’t panic like this. It made him think of a way to knock it out of them. “Spock, tell me we can go down for a visit.”

“You‘re not serious,” asked McCoy, finally tearing his eyes away to stare at Jim.

The entire crew also gave their captain incredulous looks. 

“Hell, yes,” said Jim, his smile widening. “Part of our mission is to seek out new life and new civilizations, remember?”

McCoy sputtered.

“Spock! What’s the verdict?” continued Jim.

And for the first time he saw the expression on Spock’s face. There was a fervent light there that Jim only saw when the Enterprise ran into some really interesting alien technology. The ‘I want to run so many experiments that your head would explode’ mad scientist look that Spock got when he really got to flex his science officer muscles.

“The atmosphere is very similar to Earth‘s in its ratio of oxygen to nitrogen,” said Spock, looking at Jim. “Though there is an energy field around the entire…” here he paused, “turtle, that I am unable to identify.”

Jim nodded and stood up. “So, an away mission it is! Spock, you have the-”

“Captain,” Spock interrupted. “I believe that it would better if I joined the away team.”

Jim smirked, he’d expected that reaction. He’d just wanted to see how badly Spock wanted to come along. “Okay. Fine, Sulu, you‘ve got the conn.”

“Aye, aye sir,” said Sulu, he was back to staring at the screen with huge eyes.

Jim stood up and grabbed a hold of McCoy’s arm. “Come on, Bones. You‘re coming along too.”

“Aw, hell no!” protested McCoy as he got dragged along by Jim‘s firm grip. Spock was already waiting for them in the turbolift.

“You’re coming! Captain‘s orders!” Jim said with cheerful ruthlessness.  
*-*-*-*

Upon beaming down to the surface of the surprisingly flat world that the Enterprise had discovered, the captain had come to the decision that they should split up. A decision he had only arrived upon because of the native _humans_. The surprising existence of humans among the sentient species of this world, of which there were several, had reduced McCoy to silence before he started running multiple scans with his medical equipment. 

Spock thought it had been unfortunate that the silence hadn’t lasted for more than the 7.345 minutes. He mentioned this. It had earned him a bright wide flash of the captain’s smile and the glower of McCoy.

It was the existence of the other sentience species, including a silicon based life-form in bipedal form, which had sparked McCoy’s excitement and he’d instantly demanded that they explore the city they had materialized in.

Captain had proceeded to give orders for everyone to split of in different directions, though he had agreed to take a security officer, with him. Spock had been insistence on this. The other security officer went with McCoy.

Spock refused the need for security as he was more than capable of protecting himself.

The Captain had smiled again and said, “I remember.” 

This was how Spock found himself scanning a high amount of that energy he was not able to define. All he knew that it wasn’t solar energy, or any other sort of stellar energy. Nor was it radiation of any sort ever recorded in the library computer of the Enterprise. 

The spectrum of the energy was nearly within the range of visible light, yet it didn’t have the same wavelength as ultra-violet. It was puzzling.

Spock was currently in front of a large building with an attached tower. The odd energy readings appeared to be radiating off it. Though there was a high amount of background energy that his scanners had been able to identify, there was even more coming from the building‘s location. As if it was a source of it. Or, another logical option, would be that they made use of it within the walls.

Spock finished his latest scan of background stellar radiation, and how much the planet was receiving as a method of eliminating the odd energy as having come from off planet. It was locally produced. He debated entering the building. Even with the clear high wall surrounding it, entering would be simplicity itself. 

“It really isn‘t safe to get any closer.” 

Spock paused and looked around. There was no one there to speak. The only living creature was a ragged looking species of canine. It had such unique features that he thought that the animal was a natively evolved canine, with similar enough parallel evolution to have a passing resemblance to the Terran _Canis lupus familiaris_. 1

Spock looked back to the tricorder and shifted its setting to adjust it to biological readings. 

“It will just be trouble.”

Spock narrowed his eyes and looked towards the dog… for lack of a better word.

“When you eliminate the impossible,” Spock said to himself. And asked the dog, “Why do you think I shouldn‘t get closer?”

The dog looked startled which reinforced Spock’s hypothesis regarding who had spoken. If the dog had truly not understood, it would not have reacted in such a fashion. 

“Who? Me? I mean… Nice doggy.’”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “I am aware you are conversing with me.”

“But- oh,” the dog sniffed the air. “You’re not completely human are you? You’re something just different enough to not react like a human does.”

“My name is Spock.”

“Gaspode. ‘S‘ my name,” said Gaspode. He used his hind leg to scratch at a balding patch of fur on his neck. 

“Gaspode, you have not answered my question,” said Spock, calmly.

Gaspode trotted closer, “Why do think I can talk? The magic field around the University is probably one of the highest in the Disc. It can do weird things to you.”

Spock stared at him and raised his eyebrow, skeptically. “Magic? There’s is no such thing as magic.”

Gaspode looked at him, and tried to appear to raise an eyebrow right back. “You‘re not from around here are you?”

“I‘m not,” agreed Spock.

Gaspode huffed in disgust. “Tourists. Fine. Buy me a sausage and I‘ll show you around. Just… don‘t burn down the city. I don‘t want to go through that again.”

-The End

1- It wasn’t that Gaspode wasn’t a dog. He really was. But he was such a mix of mongrel and even a bit of mailman leg, that he didn’t come out looking like any kind of dog before seen on any world.


	2. Epilogue - Or a Random Extra Bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra bit that wouldn‘t leave my brain. Evil brain

“Are you still messing around with that world, again?”

Q would have jumped in surprise if he wasn’t currently pure energy in a different plane of existence to the physical word. He turned to Q and gave her the energy being equivalent of a wide innocent smile. 

She didn’t buy it for a second or even a picosecond. 

“I‘m just trying to tweak it so it will be perfect for q,” said Q, shifting his self until he resembled a dark haired human wearing a Starfleet uniform that won’t be created for nearly a hundred years. 

Q shifted their son in her own now human-shaped hands and gave him an annoyed look. 

“It won‘t be ready for at least another couple hundred years, but I thought he‘d like it,” said Q defensively. “It would make a great present for him.”

“It would have but then you just had to stick humans all over it,” said Q in response. She rolled her eyes. 

“So I like humanity,” shrugged Q. “They‘re no Picard or Janeway, but sometimes they get really interesting ones too. Like right now they have one named Vetinari.” Q frowned. “I‘m not the only one messing with it though. Another Q went and stuck an entire new continent on world. I had to go back in time and create more gold on one of the other continents to keep the entire world from tipping over. I don‘t even want to think about the effects of gravitational changes that made on turtle and how I lost an elephant that way. Five is such a tidier number than four.”

“Well, stop for now, your son need your attention,” she said and handed q to Q. She vanished from that point of existence. 

Q looked down at his son q. “Do you want to go back in time and see the evolution of a really awesome silicon based life form? I can tell you that they are so much better designed than those Hortas. They have diamond for teeth!”

He snapped his fingers and they both vanished.

\- The End, really this time.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: I do adore writing Discworld and AOS together for some reason. Heh. =D


End file.
